But its “just an elopement” is a phrase that I’ve heard way too many times. I’m here put an end to it because no one should ever feel like their wedding day is less important because it’s not a huge 300 person wedding in a ballroom with a sit down dinner that checks all the boxes on the wedding checklist. Would anyone say “It’s just your wedding day?”
Your wedding day is yours and yours alone. It seems that the second anyone gets engaged everyone and their brother has opinions on what they should do. I realize it’s hard to shake some of these without seeming rude or inconsiderate, especially when it’s coming from mom or sister or a best friend etc.. And if you agree with them, that’s great. But if you don’t please don’t feel talked into a wedding day that you don’t want. If Taylor Swift has taught us anything it’s to Shake it off! (Never thought I’d be quoting Taylor when I started this site!).
I have done nearly 200 elopements and tiny weddings and I have never heard any of them say that they regret that decision. I have had many of them tell me they had friends tell them after the fact that wish they would have done the same thing! I have also personally heard several couples, friends and family say that they wish they would have eloped or done something smaller after having a big wedding.
Now before I start getting hate mail, I’m not saying that big weddings are bad. If you want a big wedding let’s great. Go big or go home! But if a big wedding is not the right fit for you two as a couple there is nothing wrong with that. And I’m sick of the shaming. How often do you hear someone say “Oh you only had a 200 person wedding downtown with a 20 person wedding party and a 3 tiered cake?” You don’t. So don’t do that to people who choose to elope or have an intimate wedding.
I’ve had couples who I can tell have someone close to them shaming them about their decision to elope and it breaks my heart. Which is why some people don’t tell anyone! No matter what you decide, the decision is yours. Some couples still choose to have their parents, or siblings or a couple close friends in attendance, which is great! Is that an elopement? Sure! Or maybe it’s a micro wedding or tiny wedding or whatever you want to call it. The point is to surround yourself with the people who support your decisions and love you on your wedding day.
And it’s not just friends and family doing this. I’ve had couples themselves say things to me like “we just need a few photos since we’re doing something small. ” Doing something small doesn’t mean you can’t still rock a big white dress if you want (or black dress, or jumpsuit or matching Mr & Mrs Jerseys… you get the point). It doesn’t mean you can’t have someone capture your entire day, not just 30 minutes of photos. It doesn’t mean you can’t write your own vows or get all dolled up or buy a new suit. There are no rules. You can make your day whatever you want it to be or not be and when you do that it will be the best day.
In my mind it’s your wedding day no matter the number of guests. It’s your wedding day no matter the style of the dress (or not a dress). It’s your wedding day if you decide to get married in heels, or in hiking boots. It’s your wedding day if you decide to have a fancy sit down dinner or grab tacos on a Tuesday after city hall. It’s your wedding day if you exchange rings, get matching tattoos or just do a pinky promise!
The bottom line is that it’s YOUR wedding day. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your choices. Period. End Rant.
Written by Becky Brown of Elope to Chicago
Owner/Editor of What if we Elope